What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What's your take on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? How has it affected you?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

What steps can be taken to track down a scammer and determine their location?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

If a narcissist can't feel remorse, can they ever feel regret for an evil act after going to rehab?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

How can you tell if someone or someone's is trying to recruit or at least test you for a secret organization?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What is the scariest thing that ever happened in your life?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Is LGBTQ destroying the world?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …